Friday, 31 July 2009

oh deer…

After a long, fun day of artiness in an arty town, with very arty (pronounced 'nutty') people, it was time to get back in the tank to sleep whilst we return to HQ. It was dark and there were even bigger tanks than ours on the road, but there was more on the road than tanks…

Something called a 'deer' didn't go to the hedgehog's school of road safety. It decided to run across the road without looking either way, between the larger tanks in front, and us. I was just nodding off to doggy dreamland as I was jolted forward, only stopped by the cumbersome restraint they insist on making me chew whilst inside the tank. Deer are apparently very stupid, thinking they could win a fight with a red tank driven by Furry-face. Furry managed to stop very quickly, and got out to shout at the deer, I think. I'm not overly interested in deer, but as it was cold, and late, I decided to go for another sleep.

Many hours later, I awoke beside a man with a mummy tank that carried our red tank on its back, he was nice, spoke of VW's and Harleys, although he did call me a spaniel, how insulting?! After he helped Furry-face patch up our tank, we set off on a long, slow trek, all tired and shaken, but uninjured, to arrive home at 3am. I fancy a midnight snack!

Thursday, 30 July 2009

Mad Cows in Dumfries?

After a long ride in the tank, we were met by Anthea & Dave, two very mad giants. We were taken on a tour of their kingdom, through a feeding garden, where every step there was something new to eat, past an angry factory that kept venting steam, and a large, smelly hotel for fish.

Kick the Coo Brae is an artists town, full of very mad people and very odd places. We visited an outdoor piano, a boat in a garden, a president's shed and a tiny field of cardboard cows? Furry-face and Chewy helped build a temporary house, it took 6 of them, the instructions said they only should have used 2, that's maybe why it took them so long, it was funny to watch, but I was happy enough chewing on a giant stick they'd left me. They had to move my dizzy stick though, it was placed too close to the plants, whilst they were playing at builders, I wandered into a shrubbery for a feast!

After a snooze and convincing the giants to try eating some plants, we all went to listen to some plumbers in skirts playing their bags of pipes and washing machine drums, a Scottish tradition I understand, but the noise didn't bother me. I met lots of mini giants wanting to rub my fur, and also met a gorgeous older woman with long, wiry hair, she liked me, but Chewy wouldn't let us run off together! So I decided to take Chewy for a long walk instead, during which I became a work of art on my very own plynth, just like in London's Tresvulgar Square.

Wednesday, 29 July 2009

vet nap

I met a really nice man in a white coat at the vet school today, but I was quite rude and fell asleep whilst he was speaking. Apparently, it's not normal for a dog to get themselves comfy and nod off to sleep whilst lying on the examination table? Don't know why, that rubber is quite soft and rather comforting, it doesn't soak up the drool though?!

I was wakened by laughter coming from a window, lots of faces appeared to laugh at my sleepiness, someone even came in and took photos, I tried to lick the lens, but she was too fast, so I fell asleep again. After the nice man poked and prodded me (I think he was trying to remove my eyes), we went to meet lots of fun people and other dogs, some ignored me, barking at them doesn't seem to help them notice me, odd!? Then I met a really giant dog, he gave me a wash just by standing over me, then blew on me and I fell over. I think his name was Bernie the Mountain?

I like it there, think I'll go back to visit when I need a snooze.

Tuesday, 28 July 2009

It's Careless to Burn an Island

Today we visited the island that got burnt, I mean, how careless are these giants? I thought they were over reacting again, but, sure enough, theyre still at it. Evidence all along the cliff path that they still burn it today.

Someone kept blowing in my face whilst we were on the cliffs. I couldn't see who, every time I turned around, they'd gone?! I don't like it, I try to catch the air with my teeth before it hits my nose, but it's tricky.

We met a few other dogs, they didn't like me much, even rolling on my back whilst howling didn't win them over. Then we went on a completely wasted trip to see the Kings Horn, no sign anywhere, so I got dragged to Petty Curse Bay. On the way there, the tank windows were down, and Chewy was shouting at a man we passed, he had a smelly bum apparently? I was too busy listening our for those funny popping noises behind me again!

Once we arrived, there were more cats to chase, lots of fishy smells and I discovered this stuff called 'sand'. It's great, really chewy and has lots of funny stones in it, they're shells apparently?! I don't have the time to sit and wait for a stone to hatch out of its shell, but it only seems to happen at beaches, they must need the salted water or something? Anyway, sand tastes great, so does the 'sea wee' it has in it. There was a small sealskinned thing playing with a toy in the water, iy was getting blown away by the mysterious face-blower, he was being dragged for miles. Furry-face and Chewy said they wanted to scream, I couldn't be bothered, it was time for my nap!

Monday, 27 July 2009

the dizzy stick

Whilst I was at the heavily cow-guarded mansion, I was placed in a large green-carpeted area with all-in-one table seats scattered about, but I was not allowed to roam free. I was attached to a large, shiny, twisted stick they planted. This stick seemed to have a forcefield around it, because when I reached a certain distance, I was stopped in my tracks. I tried running as fast as I can in the direction the forcefield allowed, but I just got dizy and fell over, the forcefield became stronger the more I ran, the area became smaller, until Furry-face hit some kind of reset switch, allowing me the original distance.

An impromptu game was devised to fool the forcefield, it allowed me to weave in and out of the wooden legs of the tablechairs, causing Furry-face to chase me by crawling and retracing my route.

Then they taunted me with strange bird-like creatures, they called them pee-a-lots or something, they wanted to eat my food, and the giants' food too, but I suspect they were after my chewy tyre! I got revenge by chasing them away (as far as the forcefield allowed) and then eating their supply of grass, sticks, and some strange round pellets that tasted yucky, but I ate them anyway.

Protected by Guard Cows

Furry-face took us in his red tank to a House full of Binns today, these bins must be incredibly important as they have a regiment of large, highly-smelly bovine soldiers guarding them. We had to navigate through them as they stopped us by standing in front of the tank, staring us down or running slowly in front of us. Don't cows run funny?! The smell was overpowering, I could see them as I stood up at the window, but I could smell them from anywhere.

There were also white fluffy things, no, not clouds, sheep. What's the point of sheep? No use as guards, they run away, untrainable and they just follow each other everywhere, sounds like humans, I know!

Once we got to the large house, we didn't even go inside to see the Binns, said I wasn't allowed, but I think these bins are top secret, why else would they be so well guarded?

We went for a walk through the trees instead, and then did some hill-climbing, through minefields left by the cows and sheep, up to a tall, round tower, it was locked though, maybe some kind of prison, but we couldn't rescue the prisoners inside. They'd even hung a large blue, stripey towel up a pole, very odd behaviour.

Sunday, 26 July 2009

Bar Knee Tail

We returned to the home of the old grey dog with the odd name, he seemed more alert this time, I think he's been through rehab! Those eyes just say it all!

The rooms were smaller than I remember, and Bar Knee had hidden his sausages from me, but I found his pig and also a funky tyre. This thing must be alive, it rolls away from me on its own and is pretty good at sneaking up on me.

It looks like Furry-face also managed to play the same evil 'tail' trick on grey dog, but he can't reach his, he's not as bendy as me. I offer to help him out, grabbing it for him, trying to remove it and shake it off, but they seem to have installed the same anti-tamper, pressure sensitive torture device, he keeps yelling when I help.

I was allowed to roam free, untethered within their green-carpeted fortress, with a wooden barrier all around. The giants shouted on me a lot, I went to them sometimes, as they had tasty hot dog treats, but I found some other, rather nice food planted there whilst I wandered. As well as delicious daisies, I discovered I now like pansies and azalea japonica, must be a delicacy from afar.

archive footage of toy testing

Some video footage of my early toy-testing career was discovered on a browse through the vaults, my techniques have improved since then, as has my awareness of onlookers.

video

Saturday, 25 July 2009

horses and hairy mountains

Well, after a disappointing trip to the canal, apart from Furry-face falling down the stairs at an aqueduct, I was taken to meet lots of other dogs and these things called horses.

These horse things are huge, they all had giants growing from their backs, but they leave smelly land mines everywhere they go. All of their human growths made the funny "oh how cute" noises at me, but Furry-face wouldn't let me chase them away.

video

I also met a hairy mountain that licked me, Furry and Chewy said it was called a 'New Found Land', an interesting concept of a mini, mobile island you take with you on holiday? I met lots of other things too, other dogs that were able to carry huge sticks (I had a go myself, need bigger legs to accomplish that), lots of toddlers and screaming mini-giants, and also a strange, wet, semi-skinned one that looked as if he had fell from the sky, landed flat-out on a bridge over the river. He wasn't moving, barking at him didn't help, but licking his wet, dirty feet seemed to wake him up again.

video

We had a race back up the hill to the red tank, something about a trophy for getting back before the gate was locked at 5? I won!

Friday, 24 July 2009

Yay, we're going to the canal…

…whatever a canal is? Furry-face just told me he's taking me to the canal because he's had enough of me peeing on the carpet, rewards at last!

The rain's stopped outside, so he's getting a few things together for me, then we're off. I'm looking forward to this, I've heard that the canal has some great swimming, so long as you're not too heavy, and there's meant to be fishes I can play with.

Thursday, 23 July 2009

indoor rain

All this playing in the wet outdoors has its down side, now I smell! The giants have a magic, indoor fresh-rain cubicle that freshens things.

It's a strange feeling on my fur, not sure I like it, but my defensive shakey-move has no effect in this cubicle. Then they add this "shampoo" to me, all over (and I mean even the sensitive bits), it smells funny, like fake fruit, but the more they rub it in, the foamier it gets, I look like a mini polar bear! It gets rinsed off and now I smell all funny, but fruity.

More chewing and playing with the giant towel gets me back to normal, but not before I managed a flawless shake all over the walls, carpet and both giants!

Thundersday

They forgot to turn off the swimming pool switch yesterday, it's still wet out. I didn't know furry-face had so many clothes?! He's not well today, I can tell, he needs me to look after him, but I appreciate him taking me out to play in the wet. The sky is still angry but growling louder today, I'm told it's 'thunder' and isn't anything to worry about.

I've decided to treat ol' furry-face to a game of 'drag the bed'. This consists of getting one corner as wet as possible from chewing it, then sliding it across the fake-wood floor as quickly as I can, before running to the front door and back then diving onto it, skidding as far back to where it should be as I can. Add toys for the added complexity of trying to keep them on the bed. The game ends by falling asleep wherever the bed finishes, it will mysteriously slide it's own way back to the starting position once asleep!

Wednesday, 22 July 2009

Wetnesday

There seems to be a switch somewhere that turns the outside of the giants HQ into a swimming pool. When the front door opened this morning, there was a lake up to the step and it stretched all the way to the beepy lights on the corner. Some cars swam past, creating a tidal wave that completely soaking furry-face. He carried me all the way to the park, so I escaped the swimming.

All that water makes sticks slippy, but they melt easier when chewed, great fun! I kinda like lying down in the rain, there's drinking bowls everywhere too. The water falling hurts a little today, and the sky's growling at me, but dragging furry-face into the bushes is fun.

I was really glad to get home, I got wrapped in a large towel as he tried to rub my fur off. Not a moment too soon, I was desperate for a wee! (I made sure I did it whilst old furry-face was getting changed into yet another set of clothes) There's a funny smell in here now, hehe, it smells like wet human!

Tuesday, 21 July 2009

Massive Dog Toy in the Water!!!

I seem to get out on LONG afternoon walks now, but sometimes we go out in the evening instead. I don't mind either way, but the light's better to see things in the day.

I was taken to South Queensferry to chase moths and small flies, I even met another dog, I think she was a vagrant as she didn't have any servants with her, but my giants seemed to know her. But then I spotted a HUGE toy in the water, it's big and red, even has a shaped bit in the middle to grab on to! I kept trying to chase after it, but I couldn't quite reach it, maybe it had a forcefield around it to stop dogs stealing it? After I had tired out those two, we headed home, but we drove past something called a "chippie", although they didn't stop, the smell stuck in my nose for hours, I hope we go back so I can investigate!

Invisible Friends?

Furry-faced giant seems to have couple of invisible friends? Every time we go out for a walk, he brings them along, but I can't see them! Totally without warning, he'll call on them, repeatedly, then he takes whatever I'm playing with away from me? I mean, if he can't see them, and they're not answering him, he shouldn't be taking out his frustrations on me!

I used to look up at him or look around when he was shouting for them, but now I think it's best just to ignore him and make sure I'm not playing with anything at the time. His invisible friends are called "Droppit" and "Leavvit" if anyone else knows them?!

Monday, 20 July 2009

Fast and Woofified

The giants decided it would be a good idea to take me to meet their parents, and cure my fear of loud noises and cars at the same time.

I'm told that car shows are an opportunity for giants to take the cars they've bred to compete against each other. This is great for getting cars socialised at an early age, where they can meet different breeds, all colours and sizes, and even win prizes for 'best parked', 'loudest voice' or 'silliest face-paint'. Some of these breeds of cars have very loud voices, some can even scream very loudly at each other, but there were a few that sounded quite ill, I even heard folk saying they were "sick, dude!" So why take them to socialise if the other cars might catch their disease?

These shows also seem to be an excuse for the lady giants to display their chewy bits and hug their cars, some of them even found the time to give their cars a bath?! One or two of the ladies are even quite pretty!? I didn't mind much though, as I seemed to be more popular than either the cars or chewy bits were, both sexes of giant were interested in me!

I met a baby yellow working car, he was only a pup, but not as playful as I hoped he would be. He stared at me a lot though, maybe he knows my toys?

Sticks and Stones…

Now that I'm getting out to play, there's so many things to explore. I've found these things called 'sticks' that come from the sky, some of them land upright and start growing.

Sticks call out to me, "carry me" they shout, sometimes it gets a bit confusing when there's so many of them around, I try to keep them all happy, but some have to be left behind, but picking them up quietly whilst moving results in a nice surprise for whoever is with me. Getting the stick comfy in my mouth can be difficult, they like to be carried from one end, with the biggest part sticking out a long way to the side, but they need to be kept as steady as possible, so must keep my head still as I move.

After taking them for a short walk, they need to be taken as quickly as possible to a small patch of grass, where they should be devoured slowly, first removing their skin and then gradually crunching them from one end to the other. If they resist, I must pick them up and shake them madly until they're dizzy, then start chewing again.

Stones are boring, but good to worry giants! Picking them up and scraping them against my teeth seems to induce panic, so I try to pick them up discretely whilst moving, and chewing them when it's most unexpected.

Picking up as many stones and sticks unnoticed whilst moving is a great game, my record so far is two stones and three small sticks before being discovered.

Sunday, 19 July 2009

Goodbye Brown, Hello Green!

I thought I was going parachuting when they strapped me into a little black harness! next thing I know, I'm leaving the smelly old brown carpet behind me as I'm taken through a wilderness of flowers. I was led out of the HQ boundary fence, on to some confusing grey substance underfoot, I can see stones, but I can't pick them up, they're sunk in!?

After sitting for ages on bumpy ground, loud beeps tell me it's ok to run like the wind towards lush, green carpeting filled with goodies to lick, eat, chew or carry. So much to explore, so many things to smell. The green carpet is apparently called "grass", I don't care, it's just great to eat, roll in, grab mouthfulls to carry, and so soft to run and tumble on. The harness chafed a bit though, really makes me itch, and the rope that brings the giant behind me gets a bit tangled round my legs, but it's ace, no more brown!

After a walk for miles and miles, we returned to the HQ via the beepy thing, good, I needed to pee on the brown carpet again.

Saturday, 18 July 2009

Sleeprunning

I was beagle racing, all of us chasing a remote controlled hot dog. I was out in front, even had managed to pick up the most passing things in my mouth, including a large stick, wads of freshly-cut grass and three rubber balls. The finish line was in sight, still in the lead, breathing frantically, legs flailing behind me, but as I approached the finish line, I realised the world ended and there was a huge drop over a cliff.

I straightened my legs, dug in my paws as I skidded over the line, winning but falling, heading for a giant lake of marshmallow topped with sprinkles. As I hit the lake, I awake with a start, upside down and totally exhausted, furry-faced giant laughing at me uncontrollably, how embarrassing.

Still, I'm glad I was on my back and my legs were flailing above me, I might have ended up in the next town over!?

Friday, 17 July 2009

Surround Sound Whistling


Minigolf
Originally uploaded by Hugh Beauchamp
These giants have a huge, flat cage in the corner with people trapped inside, I can see, and also hear them from my bed. Sometimes they make such a loud noise it wakes me. Although the cage is large, it doesn't seem very deep, but I think there's some kind of portal technology there, as I can see the captives large and then running away into the distance, and I know there's not that much room behind it. (but there is a lot of curly black worms back there, I must investigate later)

My fellow captors in the portal seem to know I'm here though. I was admiring their large green carpet as they hit their little white eggs with sticks, and every so often, I could hear them clearly whistling for me. Now, I'm not positive, but I think they might be trying to escape their cage using a tunnel, as I could hear the sounds of whistling all around me!? It sounds like they're under the fake wood floor, but definitely behind the large black sofa thing the giants don't think I can get up on.

They must have wild animals on their green carpet, as they were speaking about a Tiger, Goosen (must be more than one Goose), and possibly some Elks called Ernie and a Fisher (again, must be more than one Fish). Their spokesman was someone called Peter Alliss, he has a nice, calming voice, it sent me back to sleep, even over the people whistling for me. Doesn't he say "Ailsa Craig" a lot though?

(thanks to Hugh for the use of his photo)

Thursday, 16 July 2009

Tough Toys?

Could I have met my match? The 'tough toy' has arrived, made from heavy duty rubber and multicoloured to try to confuse me. It's made from several parts, all the same shape, linked together, not sure how they've managed that? on first observation, there doesn't appear to be any weak point.

"Nobbly Wobbly" it's called, yeah, I laughed too, not exactly named to be tough now, is it? Maybe they mean tough, as in, a mental stimulant, rather than being hard to destroy? I think I'm supposed to figure out how to untangle the different colours, but how did they tie it like that in the first place? I reckon there's a production line of magicians sitting at a conveyor belt, linking them like those steel rings they have!

On with the testing!

After an hour, the toy was defeated by a technical knockout, as it was taken from me due to the noises I could get it to make with my teeth. The noise just happened to sound conveniently like teeth snapping off! I'm fine though, just thought it was loud and worrying to the giants after the first noise, so I carried on. I'll have to try again though, it took me so long because it doesn't play fair, it bounces in directions that don't make sense to the laws of physics.

It IS quite dense rubber, but I managed to make some very deep gouges in it, I suspect certain colours may be weaker than others as you can see, but I still can't untie it, I'll borrow some anti-tangle shampoo, that might do the trick!?

Wednesday, 15 July 2009

Self Teleportation

…or the illusion of anyway. This game requires expert timing, not advised for beginners or those still learning to waddle. This works best when only an audience of one can appreciate it.

Some preparation for this may be necessary, although not essential. To get the best effect, place your toys in various locations where they can easily be seen by the victim, but not too far apart that you can't get reach them in time… all will be explained.
Wait patiently until the unsuspecting victim's back is turned or they look away for at least three seconds, strike a pose and wait. When they turn around, sit perfectly still but maintain eye contact. I find sitting bolt upright with a toy just hanging from your mouth works best, but you can also try lying on your back feet in air, looking at them upside down (not too close to them though, as they can't resist giving a tummy tickle if too near them).

Now comes the hard bit. Remain in this pose until they look away again, then, you must quietly, but as fast as you can, make your way to your second location, grab the next toy and strike a pose yet again. It can either be the same pose or the complete opposite from before, but make sure you're perfectly still again before they turn back. This can be repeated as often as you wish, you can even use the same toy for each pose, it's the location change that gives the effect of self teleportation. Quickly but quietly remember!

Get some friends over, explain the rules to them, and teleport as a group, that'll really freak them out!

Tuesday, 14 July 2009

smell follows noise…

Now, I like my food, but the lamb and rice concoction has some odd side-effects…

There I was, lying in bed, planning my next attack on the standy-up toys, when there was this loud 'pffwwt' noise from behind me!? I immediately became aware of an unbearable odor, I did the only sensible thing I could think of quickly… I ran!

I skidded across the fake wood floor into the great hall, finally gaining speed when my feet hit the brown fluffy stuff, but it had followed me, I could smell it stronger than ever. I ran to the door, nope, still there, ran all the way to the back door, nope, still bad, back into the first room, I can't shake this smell? As I ran back out, I noticed the two giants were suffering too, one was almost unconscious, whilst the other seemed to be writhing in agony, folded over and crying!

I finally managed to lose it by sneaking under the edge of the big bed cover, it couldn't find me under there.

Monday, 13 July 2009

Another One Bites the Dust

A purple rubber ring with a shoe and a rugby ball moulded into it? Hmm, as I have a soft spot for shoes, guess where the weak point will likely be?

20 minutes, toy removed, one shoe shredded to point of flappiness! I was disappointed, the laces were fake!!

That's me with the work-in-progress about 10 mins in with the big paw pinning it steady.

Sunday, 12 July 2009

Alien Abduction?

I was wakened and bundled into the red tank, tied down and then subjected to some kind of gravity altering technology. I was thrown from side to side, up and down, but it didn't take me long to figure out how to combat this strange feeling. Lying down seemed to reduce the effects, they'll have to try harder than that!

We arrived at the large warehouse again, but I was taken into a cell to meet a funny-looking creature with a smooth head and green body all over, he spoke like an alien, not even the giants were able to understand him! Before I know it, I've been stuck in the neck with a sharp object, some kind of seditive I bet! Everything got a little dreamy after that, I remember the alien looking into my eyes, trying to stick his fingers in them, then he inserted some kind of tracking device in my back, I hope it's a GPS transmitter so I can find my way around.

I don't really want to talk about this any more, they did horrible things with a probe, nasty aliens! A small biscuit didn't really make up for that sort of personal attack!

Thursday, 9 July 2009

Evil Tricks Whilst Sleeping

Whilst guarding the Stair Gate to prevent the cats' return, I inadvertently fell asleep, well, it's hard work this guarding! As I woke, I spotted something out of the corner of my eye… someone had been evil and twisted as I slept and had glued some strange, hairy black and white dangly thing to my back end!? Now, I'm not sure if it was the giants or the evil cat twins, but either way, it's a sick joke to play on a sleeping pup!

I can't quite reach it, but whilst trying, the furry-faced giant laughed at me and mentioned something about a "Tail", so I suspect it was him. I'll remember that, he'll pay later! Meanwhile, I must try to remove this odd object.

I chased it for ages, but at last, I managed to grab it with my teeth. I increased my grip whilst spinning wildly, like a tiny demolition ball, sending things flying in all directions. Each time my grip improves, I feel a sharp pain from behind? I think they've rigged it up with some kind of pressure sensitive torture device. I may have to rethink this, but I will continue my efforts every day until I'm free of this oddity.

Wednesday, 8 July 2009

Cat Cloning

Earlier this morning, the cat re-emerged from the Stair Gate, but my fears of the device have been confirmed. The cat was followed by another, it looks like the Gate clones things. This clone looks almost identical, definitley the same DNA, yet it's much larger and WAY fatter!

The clone seems to be less bothered by me, a side-effect of the duplication process no doubt, but he moves much slower and doesn't run away immediately like the original, although he has a shifty look about him, definitely more cunning too. My only worry is that they both return through the Gate and multiply even further. I must position myslef beween them and their exit, to ensure there's no more cloning occurs.

Tuesday, 7 July 2009

Further Toy Testing Techniques

The secret to destroying any toy quickly is to concentrate on one area only. Continued knawing, pulling and plenty drool for softening the targetted area. A constant and ongoing nibble should produce the desired damage in the shortest time. This results in inferior toys being removed and better, more expensive ones arriving in their place.

Tip: if the material of the toys is too tough even for drool, leave them in unseen places, around corners, just outside doors, etc to allow giants to soften the material by standing on them. If you're sleeping, you can be alerted to the successful mission if the toy has a built-in squeaker, doubling as an alarm clock for those sleepier puppies amongst us.

Monday, 6 July 2009

Laying a Minefield

I've decided to invent some new games to play with these giants, I'm using the one with the furry face to experiment with.

The rules of this game are simple, the player must be in bare feet or socks, I wait until their back is turned for 2 seconds, then I pee amidst the pattern of the carpet… and wait! Sitting just beyond the mine in wait works extremely well, they have to come close to check on me, phase one complete.

As the roll of paper and spray smell remover come out, the next mine must be layed. Depending on how long the spray and paper takes, there may be a chance to lay multiple mines, especially if there is a sock-change or foot-wash break involved.

The aim of the game is to score points for times feet have to be washed or pairs of socks consumed in one day, double points for managing to conceal a poo in the carpet pattern (splat mines), triple points for getting both feet simultaneously or soaking a knee after the first mine was discovered. This game can also be played during the night when mine laying can be done easily and in large quantities, my tip for great results - mines next to slippers are extremely cunning and 100% success rate guaranteed!

Friday, 3 July 2009

Take your partner by the nose…

Some further toy testing has revealed that the yellow smiley ball is proving difficult to remove the smile OR the stare, but I did temporarily silence its incessant squeaking at me. The giant that's good with these gadgets seems to have fixed it again, but I know its weak point now, it won't take long to re-silence it.

The duck, however is proving more stubborn. It still insists on defying me, sometimes in bed and quite often on the brown floor. I experimented today with some dancing, some spinning moves with the odd toss in the air. It's weakening, the growling and barking seems to be unnerving it. My grip also is taking its toll.

Wednesday, 1 July 2009

The odd smell now realised

I was asleep, kind of dreaming, but I could smell this familiar, yet elusive scent once more. The same one I've been sensing since I arrived here. I slowly opened my eyes to reveal the source of the stench, a cat! Granted, really dopey-looking one, but a black and white cat just the same.

He had an advantage over me, he was much bigger, with skinny, gangly legs, and was towering over me. I calmly said "hello" with a polite sniff, he replied tentatively, but then there was the refusal to play. Unacceptable in my book, every time I tried to get closer for a better look, he backed away, some kind of cat game I'll bet? I guess I'm supposed to join in, so I keep moving, getting faster and closer, we're in the hall, turning left, right, under, over, he makes a run for it to the main entrance, a cunning and nimble left turn then he disappeared completely??? I reckon he went through that Stair Gate thing, my research is incomplete on that subject, so I'll leave it for now, he'll keep until another time he enters this realm.