delivery for Breac

I recognised the 'ding-dong' as being our front door alert, not the one on the surround sound prison portal device in the corner. I ran to see if I could get there before Furry-face, but he cheated, holding me back by my neck-restraint.

It was the man in blue with the big bag, he comes by every day to put bits of paper through a slot in the door, Furry-face usually has to chase him away as he seems to like putting the neighbours' bits of paper in our door.

But this time, it was a big box… for me!! I was so excited, I'd never had anything from the bag-man before!

I wanted to play with the box, but Furry said that wasn't the present? It was a get-well gift from Bar Knee. Furry opened it and gave me the contents, a wonderful ball of string that glowed so bright it almost blinded me!

I set to work on it instantly, it looked indestructible, no ends!! I pulled and tugged, chewed and nibbled, sure enough, ten minutes later, I had an end showing, another 5 mins had Furry-face stepping in to remove it, demolished! Thanks Bar Knee, but I need tougher toys than that, sick and drugged up or not!

dumbell & squeaker

my work on toy-testing has slipped by the wayside lately, so I thought I'd get back to the grind…

My teeth have been getting sharper, although some have felt a little wobbly lately? Anyway, I discovered an interesting technique - the 'tin-opener method' where the toy gets held on the bottom teeth as the top ones work away in a straight line, cutting a section or an end off cleanly. I decided to give the blue dumbbells a new window.

I almost had the squeaker out of that wretched rugby ball, but Furry-face spotted how far I'd progressed and removed it before my Sooty & Sweep impression was complete!

archive footage of toy testing

Some video footage of my early toy-testing career was discovered on a browse through the vaults, my techniques have improved since then, as has my awareness of onlookers.