grumpy sleeper

after all my chasing of leaves on the wind over the last few days, I've been really tired and need to catch up on some beauty sleep.

Furry and Chewy keep telling me I snore quite loudly, I never heard me, but hey? They even try to tell me that I sometimes speak in my sleep? Honestly!?

Whilst I was in a deep sleep, dreaming of some nice juicy bones and destroying tough toys, I became aware of something outside of dreamland, opening one eye, only to be confronted by the Furry-faced Giant holding some kind of futuristic brain scanner over me. My grumpy look didn't stop him, neither did my polite (if a little high-pitched) requests to stop, so I punched it out of his hand onto the floor.



Then I went back to my nice dreams!

back to brown…

I've been enjoying the comforts of the outdoor green carpet, anything to get away from the nasty brown one indoors, but this morning I was shocked to discover that the outdoor carpet fitters had completely covered the green carpet with… another brown one?

Now, I don't like the wind much, it blows in my ears and eyes and puts me off when I'm trying to go pee, but today… it wanted to play!

I'd heard it howling all night, I think it was helping the trees to moult, because they look very naked now, you can see their sticks! The wind was cheekily floating brown leaves past me everywhere I went, so I had to chase them, no matter where I was - on the path, on the new brown carpet, on the road, Chewy wasn't happy about that one.

I tried getting under the brown carpet, but it was very flaky, it kept folding back in on itself as I ploughed through it? And it was dark under there too, I need to eat more carrots!

catch!

My longest-surviving toy is a little colourful rubber ball, it's so bouncy my teeth just ping right off it, but lately, I've been asked to 'catch' it for Chewy and Furry-face?!

I don't mind trying to learn things, but they won't stop laughing at my comical timing? I can't quite get the bounce - jump thing co-ordinated yet, resulting in me being on the way up as the ball has already landed again. If that wasn't bad enough, there's the task of working out where my mouth stops and my nose starts, the ball seems to bounce off my nose every time I get it close to right?

Furry-face thought this was so funny that he was going to catch it on video. I wasn't amused, so I made sure that when he bounced the ball the very first time the camera was recording… I caught it! That'll teach him to laugh at me!?

but how do I get it home?

Now that Chewy's up and about again (looks like the Tripe, Liver and Chicken really works), we were able to go for a little walk together. We had a very short trip to some kind of strange, topsy-turvy world where there was a tiny hill surrounded by some giant stones and huge metal birds flying overhead.

I investigated some of the holes in the ground, shoving my head down as far as it would fit and having a really good sniff. Rabbit with a hint of fox!

The hill was a bit pointless, looks like a city of moles, but Furry-face said it was a burial mound… that must be some size of bone!!!!

The giant stones were a challenge, They were far to big to get in my mouth, I couldn't even push them over, never mind explain why they were standing up in the first place? Maybe my standy-up toys had been speaking to them?!?

Munchrooms

There seem to be a lot of these things growing everywhere, Furry-face keeps pulling me away from them, but they smell so tasty?!

They're everywhere, all different colours, shapes and sizes, but mainly seem to be stuck to trees. That is, apart from the little clump I saw growing in the green carpet outside. Furry hadn't spotted them, so I hung back on the rope, waited until he was level with them and sprinted for it! I tackled them at full speed, grabbing one that filled my mouth, even though it was only a tiny little bit off the top!

Never have I been so disappointed… 'munchrooms' they're called? Bleurgh!

belly flop?

I was sitting with Furry-face after our walk this morning, Chewy had gone to the indoor rain cubicle for a refresh… but we heard her calling… we both ran to her! Apparently, she'd felt dizzy and had to sit down. I wondered how she'd found room in there to run around the dizzy-stick, but Furry-face mentioned that it was a bit too hot. I was quite warm in there myself, I could barely see through the indoor rainclouds, it was like being in a tropical rain forest.

Furry tried fanning some cool air into the room, but it wasn't working so Chewy got up to come out for a cooler seat. As soon as she stood up, she seemed to be sucked towards the floor at a rapid speed, almost folding in two. Luckily, Furry-face had managed to get behind her and had caught her before she landed and hurt herself.

This Furry-faced giant is proving to be useful to have around lately! Apparently the cure for being dizzy and almost being swallowed-up by a floor-sucking monster is a cup of tea, a biscuit and some TLC.

I hope that stands for Tripe, Liver and Chicken!

the long wait was over - Chewy returns!

I paced the floor all afternoon, well, between snoozes, worrying about what had happened to Chewy. Furry-face had made a couple of phone calls that got him a little upset too, but we finally got back in the tank, returning to the large collection of Giant transporters where Furry-face had lost her. I sat and stared in the direction he went off, not blinking, not budging, until finally, he appeared… with Chewy beside him. Although, I was a little concerned, she looked weak, was hanging on to him to stay upright, it took them a very long time to get to where I was.

Chewy was carefully eased into her seat, I don't remember a journey that slow, ever. It was like Furry-face was avoiding every bump in the road. I was soon to discover why…

Furry pulled me aside to give me a stern giant-to-beagle talk, he explained that Chewy had needed a minor operation to remove some asbestos from her tummy, or was it an abscess, I forget? Anyway… I wasn't allowed to jump on her, as it might burst her stitches. Having had some myself, I can sympathise, so I celebrated her return by running and jumping onto the sofa beside her and giving her big licks. I then flew for a few seconds… with Furry's assistance… as I had forgotten our little chat. I'll be more careful, I promise!

Chewy's disappearance…

We had a trip to the toy warehouse again today, but before we went, I had been left in the red tank for ages, there were lots of other giant transporters around ours, and I watched lots of giants limping and hobbling, arms tied to their necks, many of them carrying small bundles of flowers for eating as snacks.

I concluded we were at the giant hospital as there were so many injured ones around. I was a little worried as Furry-face and Chewy left the tank together, but only Furry-face came back? what had he done with her? I worried, whined and cried all the way to the toy warehouse where I found a small animal show behind glass, it was great, there were different colours of little furballs chasing each other around, over obstacles and through tunnels, it was much more entertaining than watching injured giants. It took my mind off what Furry-face had done with Chewy!

my cousin Chief…

We finally made it back to beagle racing today, it's been too long, hardly anyone recognised me, I've grown so much. Some people thought Furry-face and Chewy had traded me in for a different model?

As I'm getting a bit older now, I was allowed a really big run up the track today. I had the chance to try out some of the different running styles I've seen. I seem to favour the manic, three-legs-in-the-air-at-once style, although the laid back style of some gave me time to look at the spectators, I quickly remembered why I was there, that land-squid was getting away from me. I caught it as it ran past Furry-face, but because I wouldn't let go, I think I snapped Furry's finger again, whoops! Still, the spectators seemed impressed, a few of them said "he's going to be fast!" What do they mean "going to be"?

I met a cousin of mine there, Chief, he's very fast, even managed to beat my mate Murphy, but I think Murphy was just tired after his holidays, we'll see next time! Cheif's a good fighter, we wrestled for a while, he let me think I was winning for a while before he pinned me down and stomped all over me. He fights dirty though, he bit my ears, they should've called him Tyson!!! Anyway, Chief has a neat little party trick, he can do something called a 'handstand', now I'm not sure what 'hands' are, but he balances on his front paws whilst waving his back paws and tail in the air, it's very cool, but I can't think of anything it would be useful for? Perhaps it's the first part of a dance move or some kind of martial arts self defence technique? That could come in handy!!!!

Fair Game!

Another trip to the pet warehouse this afternoon, where I discovered the source of the realistic sounding imitation pheasants that Megan and Henry had let me play with. Well, I had to have one, so I helped myself from the shelf. It was a tough choice though, the ducks sounded very tempting too!

The pheasant seems to have as much trouble on the fake-wood floor as I do, it was losing control and skidding into things, but I can skid faster! It doesn't fly very well, it tumbles in the air and crashes into a heap on every flight. I suspect it's down to the incredibly small fake wings it has.



I have to admit though, I have a lot of respect for these fake pheasants, no matter how much I shake it, stomp on it, tug its head and feet or smack it off things really hard, it keeps making that realistic-sounding noise!

It has to lose some merit though, even with Furry-face and Chewy helping it, it still can't figure out flying - when will it just give up?
(maybe after I remove one of its legs??)

long walk around an ocean?

I'm sure Chewy & Furry-face are trying to make my legs shorter?! I'm just back from a seriously long walk around, what I think was the ocean? There was a huge palace and lots of swans and ducks and other mad squealing birds, I'm sure they called it Lynne-lifts-goats?

We met other dogs too, but there seems to be a lot of dog-cloning going on around there? I kept passing Jack Russells, every fifty yards, another one? It was a breath of fresh air to meet a black Scotty, even if he did shout a lot!

There was lots to sniff and chew on the way round the large ocean, but also lots of things to try out. As there were no children around, I was allowed to have a go on another slide. This one was a bit higher though, and didn't have any safety rails to hold on to, but it was nice and slippy, I skidded down it chasing a treat that was trying to escape me!

I also attempted to practice my tree-climbing ability, there was a training-tree that was the perfect height for little climbers like me. Chewy had to assist though, my squiggel-chasing might get better if I can master these trees! There were some tasty-looking things at the other side of the tree, I must investigate these more closely soon!

Odd pets?

Furry-face and Chewy took me for a run around the park this morning, my ball-retreival skills are coming along well.

We met quite a few other dogs out walking, a variety of size, colours and makes of dog, but as we stopped for a rest from stick carrying and ball chasing, I couldn't believe my eyes?! There was a man taking his wheel for a walk!?

Now, it obviously wasn't very well trained, as he still had it on a very short lead and seemed to be walking it back and forth along the same line. It was a very impressive straight line though, even if he didn't give the wheel any rewards. No treats? Not even verbal praise when it did well?

It was very well behaved, but I suspect it was a young one, I'm sure it'll grow up to be a bicycle!

they're following me…

I recently realised that Chewy & Furry-face have been following me around outside, now I know they're normally attached to me by a chain, but worse than that, I'm sure they're trying to hide my identity.

Maybe it's because they abducted me from my mum, and they don't want anyone to find out who I am? I've heard that you can find out who your relatives are by taking bits of you and sending them to DAN or something?? I suspect that's why they're picking up my poo after I leave it around!

Today we went to the beach again, and whilst swimming in the salty water, I had an idea… whilst at full extension of the magic rope, and still partially in the water, I took my chance to send out my 'message in a bottle' as it were, to let someone be able to find me. They both realised quickly what I was up to, splashing towards me in a panic… too late! They managed to store some of it in a bag, but I stood nearby watching as they struggled to reach the bobbing sample of hope on it's way to DAN for testing!

High Noon… well… quarter past three

After my successful message was sent, we saw a big dog heading our way, I ran away to give it as much room as the magic rope allowed, but Furry-face shouted something at it's Giants, and they started to come over. I sat down and tried to bury my head in the sand, but after a few minutes of sheer panic, the huge dog licked me and said he wanted to play.

On closer inspection, I noticed he had a scar down his back in the form of a ridge, maybe he'd been picked on by a bigger dog too and wanted to be friends? We played!

Some other dogs walked past, but neither of us liked the look of them, so my ridged-back friend went all Western on them and scared them away! It felt like that Clint Eastwoof movie "A Fistful of Dog treats"!? We played some more!

I kept him amused with my best impression of the Sphinx from Egypt, well, with all that sand around, bright sunshine and blue sky, the Bass Rock in the distance could easily be mistaken for a pyramid?!

Heeled up!

All last week, Furry-face has been encouraging me to get better, as we walk and I try to run off, he keeps shouting "heal!" It must have worked, as I've just been back to the dog hospital and they say my wound is looking really good, no more Hippie Scrub, yay!

Unfortunately, I got stabbed by another person in a white coat, I didn't mind though, she wanted to play a little first, I could've done with a sleep though, that black mat is really comfy!

A big dog did it… and ran away!

I'm still a bit nervous when I meet bigger dogs than me, so Furry-face and Chewy have been forcing me to speak to any we pass. They've all been nice so far, but it still makes me shake, just in case.

I was taken to meet two 'Great Mounds' I think Furry-face called them? When we arrived, I was quite excited, I could see the two dogs in the distance, they looked quite calm and small, but the closer I got to them, the bigger they got, isn't it funny how that works?! As we approached, I realised how they got their names, they were really tall, powerful looking, but also very skinny. After five minutes of sitting, shaking and cowering in front of them, I found out they were called Henry and Megan, I realised they were actually quite friendly and had loads of cool toys!

They had a small vegetable garden up some steps at the back, now I'm still not good at stairs yet, so I fell up them and also down them a couple of times, but the veggie patch had carrots in it! Someone had buried them though, so I helped out a bit. I tried a few of the other things that had been buried too… and some that were just lying around. A note to fellow animals - plants called 'Nasty urshims' are well named, they do NOT taste nice, they burn your mouth and their seeds come out looking exactly the same as they went in!

I played with some toys to get rid of the nasty taste, being chased by both around a small stick growing in the middle of the green carpet, all whilst I was carrying a very impressive imitation pheasant that sounded quite realistic when squeezed. They had a large two-wheeled contraption in the corner, it tried to hide the pheasant a few times, but I managed to squeeze under it a few times, although it's defense mechanism left some black oily marks on me, as well as trying to chase after me as I sneaked past it.

We went for a walk in the country next, Henry was really fast, he beat to my Frizzy Bee every time, I got bored, so I jumped through a spiky, sharp fence and into a stream, the water seemed to make me faster, on the way back, I was able to keep up with Henry as we ran up the road!?

Tess on Telly

I was just settling down on for a snooze on Furry-face when something in the prison portal caught my eye - it was my mate Tess! I sat and watched as she was forced to do some kind of food promotion, and it's not even for a food she eats!? Certain ways she sat, it didn't really look like her? I barked at her a few times during her performance, but either she couldn't hear me or it was an impostor!? She had managed to catch one of those pesky cats in a cage behind her, impressive!

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Chewy didn't know she was in there either, she was surprised and exclaimed "Tess is famous, she's on the telly!" Now that just reassures me that it's Furry-face that's capturing all these prisoners. I wish I knew where he kept the key though!